One Circle Closing

As we bid 2012 good-bye, I feel myself breathe a sigh of relief. Without fully realizing it I discover that 2012 was extremely difficult and I'm glad to see that year spin away. I feel like a weight has been lifted tho I was not even aware that I was carrying it.

Always during the year I said that life was good but always has its ups and downs. Now I realize the power of despair. As 2013 dawns, I discover a strange stirring within me, hope. Hope, where have you hidden so long?

Looking back on the year there were truly ups and downs. Mere weeks after moving into my wonderful new house, I was taken down by Mono and lost a few months of anything resembling energy. The house is full of new tasks and chores to be sorted out in ones psyche as part of ones schedule. And that balancing act has been full of adventure and fun as well as some stress and trial.

But 2013 dawns with the house warmed and cozy by the wood stove's heat and the rich comfort of winter tucked round. A new solar array graces the roof, waiting for the finishing touches by Concious Energy. And the house is undergoing a thorough clean before our wanderings take my boyfriend and I away to the sunny south lands of New Orleans and Mexico.

Meantime my memories hold close a beloved friend who was first of my dear friends to pass beyond the mortal coil for me. I miss his well worn smile and sharp laugh, ready as a birds. I'll never hear his stories again told round the fire or hear him call affectionately to a gorilla or fox to whom he was known. He was a rogue with a golden heart, charismatic as the open road and the sunset into which he now rides.

His death marked one of the most difficult journeys of my life. Such a trial that I have no desire or spirit to write of it. But if one thing came from it, it's to reassure myself to listen to the wisdom whispered to my soul and to myself be true.

So as the circle of 2012 fades forever, I find myself sitting here smiling like a jackal and saying - have hope, it will get better now.